I had a frozen thing for lunch today. I mean, it wasn't frozen after I put it in the microwave, but it was when I bought it at the store. As I usually do when I eat one of these delicacies for lunch, I went to the snack machine in the hallway to get a bag of chips. If you know me, you know I love me some Doritos.
So, I go to the machine with my dollar. Yes, a bag of chips costs a dollar in our new machine. Which is a rip off, but also better than going out in the cold to go buy a bag at the store. And it's not like I could buy a big bag assuming it would last longer. While it is much more cost-effective, I will eat the entire freaking thing in less than an hour because I have the self control of a wombat* and the appetite of a velociraptor.
Anyway, I go to buy my Nacho Cheese Doritos. All is fine and dandy - unlike our old machine, this one rarely tries to keep your chips by getting them stuck on its innards, and for that, we usually get along well. The chips drop to the bottom, I retrieve them happily, and am about to go back to my desk to feast when I see the following:
Cool Ranch Doritos! And it's not that I didn't notice them in a different spot - they were lurking behind the Nacho Cheese ones where I couldn't see them. What the eff, Vending Machine Stocker Guy - who in their right mind puts a DIFFERENT flavor behind the other flavor? What if I wanted those instead? And, I did! If I had known they were there, I would've pestered coworkers until they went and bought the Nacho Cheese Doritos and got them out of my damn way, and I would've had those lovely Cool Ranch ones. Not that Nacho Cheese aren't great - they are one of the world's most perfect foods - but I wanted Cool Ranch. Damn you, Vending Machine Man! (And don't tell me I should've bought both - read above to see what happens when I am around large amounts of Doritos. It's much better for everyone if there is a definitive amount that I have access to.)
Arrgh. I swear, lunch = ruined. All because of the Vending Machine Man's trickery.
*Wombats have very little self control. In case you were wondering.
So, I go to the machine with my dollar. Yes, a bag of chips costs a dollar in our new machine. Which is a rip off, but also better than going out in the cold to go buy a bag at the store. And it's not like I could buy a big bag assuming it would last longer. While it is much more cost-effective, I will eat the entire freaking thing in less than an hour because I have the self control of a wombat* and the appetite of a velociraptor.
Anyway, I go to buy my Nacho Cheese Doritos. All is fine and dandy - unlike our old machine, this one rarely tries to keep your chips by getting them stuck on its innards, and for that, we usually get along well. The chips drop to the bottom, I retrieve them happily, and am about to go back to my desk to feast when I see the following:
Cool Ranch Doritos! And it's not that I didn't notice them in a different spot - they were lurking behind the Nacho Cheese ones where I couldn't see them. What the eff, Vending Machine Stocker Guy - who in their right mind puts a DIFFERENT flavor behind the other flavor? What if I wanted those instead? And, I did! If I had known they were there, I would've pestered coworkers until they went and bought the Nacho Cheese Doritos and got them out of my damn way, and I would've had those lovely Cool Ranch ones. Not that Nacho Cheese aren't great - they are one of the world's most perfect foods - but I wanted Cool Ranch. Damn you, Vending Machine Man! (And don't tell me I should've bought both - read above to see what happens when I am around large amounts of Doritos. It's much better for everyone if there is a definitive amount that I have access to.)
Arrgh. I swear, lunch = ruined. All because of the Vending Machine Man's trickery.
*Wombats have very little self control. In case you were wondering.
2 comments:
I do not care for the Cool Ranch ones, so I would have eaten the cheese Doritos for you. Now I have a craving for Doritos. Darn you!
I should've mailed them to you! If they lasted that long. Which they most definitely did not.
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