Does this commercial remind you of anyone you know?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2K4qlyaJu8
I guess I have to get her one of those lamps for Christmas now...let's just hope she puts it in her office and not the house...
28 September 2008
21 September 2008
Fun Times at Aunt Leah's House
As many of you know, McKenna is staying with me for a month while her mother is in Spain. While Aunt Leah's house doesn't have a big open yard for her to run in, and Aunt Leah often is gone for long stretches of time because of work and swim lessons and cool people's weddings, it does have one fun thing - the teaching of new tricks by Aunt Leah and Aunt Kathy!
Are You Going to Scarborough Fair?
Last weekend, Kathy and I put on our cowboy boots, large belt buckles, and teased our hair up to heaven and went to a very special place known as the Great Frederick Fair. Of course, no visit to the fair is complete without paying homage to Larry's pole in the Carroll Creek parking garage. Sadly, they have since replaced the stationary cement pole with these wussy flexible plastic things. Just not the same, but we visit nonetheless.
After our ritual, we began the trek along the creek to the fair.
There are many special sights to see at the fair. For instance, there were these redundant signs posted throughout the fairgrounds. Last time I checked, the "M" in "ATM" stood for "machine." I was very interested to see what an automatic teller machine machine was - I thought it might be like the two-headed lady at the freak show - but sadly, it looked just like a regular ATM.
Next, we got dinner. We were lucky enough to find a place that sold everything we wanted. Quite an accomplishment, given that Kathy wanted funnel cake and I wanted pit beef.
Kathy's mediocre funnel cake.
My pit beef and fries. The fries were fine, the pit beef tasted like fire. The fries were the envy of the little girl at the other end of the table, who kept asking her mother why they didn't have fries, and when she could go get fries, and then she'd stare at mine. Good times.
There is much to see and do at the fair. For instance, you can buy what appears to be airbrushed cowboy hats. Notice how the people who appear to be running the table are not wearing them. Clearly they know how stupid they would look, and just want to inflict this upon others.
We also saw a place that sold Crabby Pattys. I took a picture of this in case any of my work peeps make their way here; I knew they would be entertained by it. The rest of you, carry on to the next picture. Unless you are Taryn, because it is of a bird.
Next, we went to the building where the caged animals are. Sadly, there was no sign pointing out the best cock at the fair, as someone had helpfully done a few years ago when we were there, but this fellow here looked pretty good.
We also found antique tractors. Kathy wouldn't get up on one, but she did stand with this one here. Look at her pretty new coat, too! (You will see here that I was indeed kidding earlier when I described our fair attire).
Next, we went to the barns where the larger animals live. I wanted to take this baby pig home. He reminded me of Rusty, very focused on finding food.
We also saw some alpacas, which always make me think of the episode of Arrested Development when G.O.B. called Stan Sitwell an alpaca instead of saying that he had alopecia.
There was also a very nicely matched set of goats.
And a naked sheep. He looked a lot like the sheep who were outside being shorn, and also pooing. Let me tell you, I saw a lot of children at that fair, and none were so excited as the little boy we saw who was walking past the sheep being shorn, because he saw one of them pooing. "Look, dad! Poop! It's POOPING!" To be fair, I have the maturity of a seven year old and also found it entertaining, but the joy in this kid's voice was incomparable.
Next we went to the pig barn. There, we saw a pig sleeping with his face in another pig's rear end.
And also a pig who must really like the taste of bacon, because he was licking his friend.
We also saw a number of cows, who were located very far from where I had eaten pit beef earlier in the evening.
After our fill of Farm Land, we decided to head back to the car. On our way out, we saw many scary spinning rides of death. Now, I have no problems with lovely roller coasters and teacups and whatever at amusement parks. However, they are cemented in the ground. Portable rides like this frighten me to no end.
After wading through the crowds of scantily clad, ill-smelling people, we walked along the creek to get back to the car. It was a bit bug-infested, though, hence my makeshift face mask to prevent the gnats from flying in my mouth.
All will be happy to know that we made it back to the car successfully, and went home and showered the lovely fair smells off of ourselves, having filled our need for livestock, creepy people, and disgusting food for another year.
After our ritual, we began the trek along the creek to the fair. 
There are many special sights to see at the fair. For instance, there were these redundant signs posted throughout the fairgrounds. Last time I checked, the "M" in "ATM" stood for "machine." I was very interested to see what an automatic teller machine machine was - I thought it might be like the two-headed lady at the freak show - but sadly, it looked just like a regular ATM. 
Next, we got dinner. We were lucky enough to find a place that sold everything we wanted. Quite an accomplishment, given that Kathy wanted funnel cake and I wanted pit beef.
Kathy's mediocre funnel cake.
My pit beef and fries. The fries were fine, the pit beef tasted like fire. The fries were the envy of the little girl at the other end of the table, who kept asking her mother why they didn't have fries, and when she could go get fries, and then she'd stare at mine. Good times.
There is much to see and do at the fair. For instance, you can buy what appears to be airbrushed cowboy hats. Notice how the people who appear to be running the table are not wearing them. Clearly they know how stupid they would look, and just want to inflict this upon others.
We also saw a place that sold Crabby Pattys. I took a picture of this in case any of my work peeps make their way here; I knew they would be entertained by it. The rest of you, carry on to the next picture. Unless you are Taryn, because it is of a bird.
Next, we went to the building where the caged animals are. Sadly, there was no sign pointing out the best cock at the fair, as someone had helpfully done a few years ago when we were there, but this fellow here looked pretty good. 
We also found antique tractors. Kathy wouldn't get up on one, but she did stand with this one here. Look at her pretty new coat, too! (You will see here that I was indeed kidding earlier when I described our fair attire).
Next, we went to the barns where the larger animals live. I wanted to take this baby pig home. He reminded me of Rusty, very focused on finding food.
We also saw some alpacas, which always make me think of the episode of Arrested Development when G.O.B. called Stan Sitwell an alpaca instead of saying that he had alopecia.
There was also a very nicely matched set of goats.
And a naked sheep. He looked a lot like the sheep who were outside being shorn, and also pooing. Let me tell you, I saw a lot of children at that fair, and none were so excited as the little boy we saw who was walking past the sheep being shorn, because he saw one of them pooing. "Look, dad! Poop! It's POOPING!" To be fair, I have the maturity of a seven year old and also found it entertaining, but the joy in this kid's voice was incomparable.
Next we went to the pig barn. There, we saw a pig sleeping with his face in another pig's rear end.
And also a pig who must really like the taste of bacon, because he was licking his friend.
We also saw a number of cows, who were located very far from where I had eaten pit beef earlier in the evening.
After our fill of Farm Land, we decided to head back to the car. On our way out, we saw many scary spinning rides of death. Now, I have no problems with lovely roller coasters and teacups and whatever at amusement parks. However, they are cemented in the ground. Portable rides like this frighten me to no end. 
After wading through the crowds of scantily clad, ill-smelling people, we walked along the creek to get back to the car. It was a bit bug-infested, though, hence my makeshift face mask to prevent the gnats from flying in my mouth.
All will be happy to know that we made it back to the car successfully, and went home and showered the lovely fair smells off of ourselves, having filled our need for livestock, creepy people, and disgusting food for another year.19 September 2008
Sunshine Go Away Today
Or, rather, went away last Friday. As some of you know, I went to visit Niki, Derek, Jeni, Mrs. Brake, and some friends of Jeni's at the Brakes' new house at the beach last weekend. Unfortunately, the first day, Friday, was a bit cold and dreary. It was good for driving, but not so good for beach-sitting. When I arrived, I found everyone bundled up in warm clothes on the beach. Except for Derek, who insisted on wearing his bathing suit (you can see his legs behind Niki in this picture).
It was no warmer nearer the water. This is Jeni and Mrs. Brake in their beachwear.
After freezing on the beach all afternoon, Derek grilled steak in the backyard of the house. Mmm, steak.
Niki and I helped by supervising. 
That evening, we went to play miniature golf at a viking-themed course. Derek made a friend while waiting to start.
After we got our clubs and scorecard, we were ready to start.
There were many other new friends to meet on our trek through Vikingland. Jeni and Niki met this charming fellow.
And I made the acquaintance of this gallant knight on his noble steed.
Mrs. Brake met Kangor, a more dangerous citizen of Vikingland. Don't worry, she made it past safely.
I wanted Derek to climb aboard this ship and pretend to be king of the world, like in Titanic, but he refused. I don't blame him - stupid movie - and clearly I wouldn't do it either.
He did, however, break the rules and try to climb into the troll's tree.
It was near the troll's tree that Jeni hit a hole in one. That is, if "one" were synonymous with "off of the green, out of the course, and across Route 1." Mrs. Brake went to fetch the ball for her.
Niki trying to make friends with another troll:
I found a nice place to rest while waiting for my opponents.
After the game (which, if I recall correctly, Jeni's friend Jason won...Niki, correct me if I'm wrong), Niki made friends with Brumbles, the Guardian of Go-Kart Land.
And I met Bubba, the keeper of this fine establishment.
After we finished our game, we made a detour to the tiny arcade, where Niki and Derek broke the air hockey table. Jeni and Niki fixed it, though. I helped by taking pictures.
Luckily, the weather cleared up for the rest of the weekend, and it was gorgeous on Saturday and Sunday. We were so busy enjoying it that I didn't take many pictures (unlike me, I know!). A few highlights: we ate ice cream for lunch both days at the happiest place on Earth - Candy Kitchen's Make Your Own Sundae counter. Saturday evening, we got crabs (the good kind), which were fantastic. And finally, Derek revealed his artistic side at the beach on Sunday by marking his (well, Niki's) territory:
It was no warmer nearer the water. This is Jeni and Mrs. Brake in their beachwear.
After freezing on the beach all afternoon, Derek grilled steak in the backyard of the house. Mmm, steak.
Niki and I helped by supervising. 
That evening, we went to play miniature golf at a viking-themed course. Derek made a friend while waiting to start.
After we got our clubs and scorecard, we were ready to start.
There were many other new friends to meet on our trek through Vikingland. Jeni and Niki met this charming fellow.
And I made the acquaintance of this gallant knight on his noble steed.
Mrs. Brake met Kangor, a more dangerous citizen of Vikingland. Don't worry, she made it past safely.
I wanted Derek to climb aboard this ship and pretend to be king of the world, like in Titanic, but he refused. I don't blame him - stupid movie - and clearly I wouldn't do it either.
He did, however, break the rules and try to climb into the troll's tree.
It was near the troll's tree that Jeni hit a hole in one. That is, if "one" were synonymous with "off of the green, out of the course, and across Route 1." Mrs. Brake went to fetch the ball for her.
Niki trying to make friends with another troll:
I found a nice place to rest while waiting for my opponents.
After the game (which, if I recall correctly, Jeni's friend Jason won...Niki, correct me if I'm wrong), Niki made friends with Brumbles, the Guardian of Go-Kart Land.
And I met Bubba, the keeper of this fine establishment. 
After we finished our game, we made a detour to the tiny arcade, where Niki and Derek broke the air hockey table. Jeni and Niki fixed it, though. I helped by taking pictures.
Luckily, the weather cleared up for the rest of the weekend, and it was gorgeous on Saturday and Sunday. We were so busy enjoying it that I didn't take many pictures (unlike me, I know!). A few highlights: we ate ice cream for lunch both days at the happiest place on Earth - Candy Kitchen's Make Your Own Sundae counter. Saturday evening, we got crabs (the good kind), which were fantastic. And finally, Derek revealed his artistic side at the beach on Sunday by marking his (well, Niki's) territory:
16 September 2008
There I Be! Ain't I Pretty?
So Sarah has forwarded me what is easily one of the funniest things I have ever seen. I don't know who writes this blog, but I thank them for this: http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/27350111.html
The person who put this together is a genius, and I bow to his or her awesomeness. I think my favorite of those not involving Newsies (which, as you all know, is a cinematic masterpiece) is the picture pair where Russell Crowe's Muppet equivalent is Oscar the Grouch.
(A gold star to whoever can recite the line that comes after the lyric in the title of this post! My money's on Mary, but one of you others might surprise me!)
***Alert - this link is apparently not safe for work, at least not if you scroll down to the comments section. Apparently there is a not nice picture there, as a very observant coworker informed me *waves to coworker if she found her way here from Facebook*. So yeah...still hilarious. Don't read the comments at work.***
The person who put this together is a genius, and I bow to his or her awesomeness. I think my favorite of those not involving Newsies (which, as you all know, is a cinematic masterpiece) is the picture pair where Russell Crowe's Muppet equivalent is Oscar the Grouch.
(A gold star to whoever can recite the line that comes after the lyric in the title of this post! My money's on Mary, but one of you others might surprise me!)
***Alert - this link is apparently not safe for work, at least not if you scroll down to the comments section. Apparently there is a not nice picture there, as a very observant coworker informed me *waves to coworker if she found her way here from Facebook*. So yeah...still hilarious. Don't read the comments at work.***
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