Thesis Topics

Earlier today, I had an e-mail conversation with Sarah, during which I asked her to write my thesis. Being ever so helpful, she has done so for me:

My name is Leah and my thesis is that puppies are cute.

I first came to this conclusion about 6 months ago while walking through the park eating some Rita's Italian Ice. There were many people and animals at this park, including some dogs and some puppies. It was noticed by myself and others that the puppies there seemed to be cute, but there was not enough data to come to a formal conclusion, so at that time I determined that there needed to be further testing.

My first test was to compare a puppy and a sandwich. A sample of 5 people (who all were out to lunch with me) compared the two and while it was generally agreed that the sandwich did have an appeal, it definitely could not be called "cute" especially in comparison to the puppy. Though once the puppy started eating the sandwich, the situation then became "cute."

This seemed to prove my thesis, but I needed one further test, so I obtained a larger group of people (7 this time) and had them compare a puppy and titanium spork. The group agreed that the spork, while infinitely cool, was not what they would deem "cute" and that the puppy was. There was one outlier, but they also kept trying to jam the spork into their eye, so their data was dismissed.

In conculsion, the theory of whether or not puppies are cute has been tested, and I feel proved, to be an accurate statement, and I hope that upon reading this thesis anyone who reads this feels the need to send me lots and lots of money, so I can take my friend Sarah out to get drunk on steak and alcohol. (....and buy purses)

Thank you for your time.


This should go over spectacularly when I present it to my advisor. On the bright side, it would be super easy to find visual aids to use in my presentation!

(On a related note, it appears I might have finally chosen a real thesis topic. I am withholding details until it is finalized, but I've actually stuck with this one for more than a day, so that bodes well!)